I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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