Hey man sorry I got all grabby
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
