Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
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