i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
