Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
wat bout pragnant strippers??
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
