i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
