dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
