All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
