Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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