hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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