I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
