dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
