Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize