as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
