Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize