Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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