did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
