WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
