No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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