we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
