I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
