i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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