she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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