I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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