Just fell off a train. Bad.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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