just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
