We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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