I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Of course I have a pirate flag
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
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