I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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