I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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