Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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