Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize