Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
