We're facebook friends in real life
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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