i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Green mimosas i think yes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
