she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize