READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
