my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
someone owes me an orgasm
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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