i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
