New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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