Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
