some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
