i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize