Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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