I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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