YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
