Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
