You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
