So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
