I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
