Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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