the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
