You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
