new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
