She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
