I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
