Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize