haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you win again, gameday.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
