I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize