My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
