One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My dick has a subreddit
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
