I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
