Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
