I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
