Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
