I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize