I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
