New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
