Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
