U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
