What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
