So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
