I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
