I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
