i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
