he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
