There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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