He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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