It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
