I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
