My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
