dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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