no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize